Does the SOLO in solopreneur stand for SO LOnely?
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve felt lonely many times in my entrepreneurship journey! These past few weeks have been especially tough but I did not realize HOW tough until I actually took my armor off and dared to tell a friend about it.
She said – “YEAP! IT’S HARD, LET’S GO DEEPER!” I was shaken to the core. “Was I not the only one who felt like this?” “Did others – who look like they have it all figured out – also feel like this sometimes?” It was eye opening.
And I know what you’re thinking: “Did you REALLY think nobody felt like this?” Well, it might seem obvious to you but, to me, it was not. Remember, we live in the digital era. An era where everyone showcases their wins in public and keeps the fear, the doubt, and the lonely feelings to themselves. In a box. In the corner.
So yes, it was eye opening to have someone I love say: “it’s hard, you need to let it out. Please, tell me more. I’ve been there.” YES! I instantly felt seen, validated, and more importantly: in good company. Then she went a step further: “how about we make a small group of other kick ass women we know and love and do this often?” NAILED IT.
So, let’s talk about it. Does the SOLO in Solopreneur stand for So Lonely? No, but I thought it was witty. It IS lonely. Not in the “there is nobody around me”-kind of way, but in the more insidious, “I’m all in my head, all the time, the dragon I need to slay is enormous, I have no idea what I’m doing – f*** it’s lonely in here”-kind of way. It’s a different kind of lonely.
I used to think that friends and colleagues in the entrepreneurship journey who were NOT in my industry, could not understand what I was feeling. Of course, it took actually daring to speak about it to understand: We’ve all felt like this. It was so reassuring and comforting to see that I was not alone in these feelings.
We’ve all felt SO out of our comfort zones that we don’t even know what to do half the time. We’ve all felt out of bounds in old friendship circles. We’ve felt like the odd ones out. We’ve all felt like it would be easier to go another, safer route (aka 9 to 5!). But we keep on keeping on and that’s what I love about us entrepreneurs. WE MOVE. WE FOLLOW THROUGH with our dreams no matter the hardships.
So, I decided to stop allowing the SOLO part of entrepreneurship bring me down and redefine the journey to support ME. I came up with my SOLO acronym. Here’s how I’m redefining the SOLO in SOLOPRENEURSHIP:
SAY IT OUT LOUD: “I need support”- One of the hardest things for me (and so many other entrepreneurs!). This is the thing I keep on learning. I need support and I need to ask for it. Because when I do, amazing things happen. I am always surprised by how many people (and in how many ways) can show up for me when I actually ask for it. How many of us go through life thinking we can do it all by ourselves? It’s a trap and there are no cookies on that dark side!
OPEN TO RECEIVE IT: Get the support you need in the way you need it. Be open to the support around you. Is it a coach? Is it a therapist (not enough has been said about entrepreneurial burnout! Please take care)? Is it a business friend? An actual friend who is also on the entrepreneurship path? Is it a friend you meet via a Facebook group like the CEO Club, Self-Care Sisterhood or Grab Life By the Goals? Look around!
LET ITO OUT: Talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly with people you trust. I’m not saying talk strategy with your business bestie (you should, but that’s not what you need when you’re feeling lonely and down). Talk feelings and doubt and fear with someone you trust. Let someone hold space for you. Do the same for then.
OWN YOUR NON-LINEAR JOURNEY: PLEASE know that entrepreneurship is NOT a linear path – be careful not to compare your journey with another’s. Write this somewhere you can see every day: Your path is yours. Own your journey. Enjoy it.
Solopreneurship does not have to be lonely. It will be at times but if you have the systems in place to help you deal with it – amazing things can happen. As always, I’m over here on the bleachers cheering you on!
